What started as a Tweet lead to Goldmund and I hitting the streets of Charleston. Here are 5 lessons I learned from Goldmund and what happened.


Most don’t know this but Goldmund is one of my favorite writers. I have 6 and I’ve met four of them.

First it was John Doe, then Victor Pride, then Mike Cernovich, and now Goldmund Unleashed.

There are two more writers that I will meet.

Let’s go over the story first so that you will have context. From there we will move onto the 5 lessons that I learned from Goldmund.

The Story…

So two months ago I read a article from Goldmund Unleashed that one of his destinations would be Charleston.

At the time I was planning to be in New York City but I decided to Tweet him anyways. In this online world you can’t always expect them to be genuine offline.

Goldmund and I talked here and there. On the day of his arrival we set the meeting time for 7 PM. We meet at one my usual places.

Meetup Location: Kings Leaf Cigar Lounge

Every person I meet whether a reader, business partner, or fellow writer has to pass a test with me. That test is sitting down and puffing on a cigar.

For two hours Goldmund and I sat there trading stories. We had a lot of similarities being the artsy business type.

He actually gave me some tips for my book Think and Go Hustle.

After great conversations about girls, masculinity, and many other topics we finished up our cigars. I asked if he wanted to take walk. His eyes lit up and he said,  “That would be great”.

The first place I showed him was the Gaillard Auditorium.

goldmund unleashed

I love the architecture of the building and used to go see plays there. If you’re ever in Charleston and like performances then check them out.

After that him and I headed back to King Street. King Street is where most of the action in Downtown Charleston happens.

We ended up at a bar. As we walked around we looked out for girls to approach.

To be honest this was the first time I’ve went out and actively approached. The sense of being a lion out on the hunt was great.

Most girls usually fall into my arms  through random events but going out is a completely different beast. It’s the same feeling I get from waking up with money in my bank account.

Since it was the middle of the week Charleston was dead. Where there were people it would be 4 guys to one girl.

After a quick drink, we walked down to the Silver Dollar. As we walked in the door a cute girl by the bar looked at Goldmund.

He went up and ordered a drink. While the bartender made his drink he started talking to the girl.

She was your average college brainwashed liberal. Needless to say she loved Goldmund.

I realized he was screening her. He would watch how she responded to different things. A light touch here and a joke there.

What makes Goldmunds game even better is it is all natural. Most people try to sell you on the manipulation hacks and all that does is make you over think.

Goldmund however just carries on a conversation and has fun. He’s got the personality that draws you in.

Add to that his style. If you know who Goldmund is, you know he has a unique style. People call him Indiana Jones.

The entire night that we walked around girls asked about his necklace and hat. For guys that are shy this is great.

** If you’ve got a unique (within reason) style then girls will approach you. Your style is also a great conversation piece. **

We decided that we would check out another bar down the street. By this point it was going on 11:30 and things were shutting down.

However, the bar we found next was great. You walk in and then go up the stairs to this big open bar on the roof.

As we made it out into the cool night air a girl caught his eye.

He approached her. She appeared to be with a friend but the friend was too lost in her phone to notice.

Sadly this girl wasn’t the brightest star out that night. All she could do is agree with what you said and talk about surfing.

She failed the screening and so he walked away.

Around this time it was going on 2:40 AM so I recommended we head home. We drove out to the place that I stay at when in Charleston.

Its the perfect place to be as a writer and Young Hustler. Nothing to worry about, out in the woods, and a great skyline. I can’t really ask for more when it comes to a good creative space.

As we got out of our cars Goldmund looked around and said, “This is a crazy place” and I can’t agree more.

It’s out in the country so their isn’t much light pollution and you’re surrounded by nature. Some of my best ideas have come to me out here.

We walked inside and got settled. I showed him where his room was and then asked if he wanted to go outside to look at the stars. That’s one of my favorite things to do every once and a while.

There isn’t anything better than going outside and looking up at the night sky. Crickets chirping. Coyotes howling. Shooting stars blazing across the sky.

There is just something tribal about building a brotherly bond under the stars. Something sadly most of our culture lacks.

Goldmund and I really connected. He’s one of just a handful of people I’ve been able to do this with. Most people just don’t open up.

By opening up and spilling your guts as he would say, you allow for something magical to happen. You allow your true self to come out.

That’s how true friendships and tribes are built.

True friendships are built by building a bond. Although I only talked to him for maybe five hours I look at him as a brother.

That’s something that I don’t take lightly. If you’re a brother then I’ll kill for you. Yeah have your friends but always have brothers.

They are the type of people that you only see once a year but things just click when you see each other. It can’t be forced or fake.

This is part of what men need nowadays. You need to be surrounded by brothers not just friends. Friends are fake and just for convenience.

Brothers are the real deal. Not just blood but spirit brothers.

Think about that. You can’t be a lone wolf and get far in this world. If you try then you will burnout. Forget about friends and get brothers.

Needless to say, Goldmund is the real deal. He is honest and in today’s online world people like him are rare.

That is the story of Goldmund Unleashed and Dylan Madden hitting the streets of Charleston. Now let’s talk about the 5 lessons that I learned from Goldmund.

1) Having Style Gets Girls and Success

I’m a big supporter of dressing for success. What I didn’t really think much of was how style affects game. Of course common sense says that if you dress well them people will treat you better.

But it goes much deeper than that. Girls approached Goldmund just because of how unique his style was. Even guys would look with awe at him.

The two items that stood out the most were his hat and necklace. People would call him Indiana Jones and girls wanted to know more about his accessories.

While I dress semi-stylish this one thing opened my mind to the deeper side of style. I almost say it is a necessity to be stylish if you want to get anywhere.

I will be buying this Red Skin bracelet from Masculine Accessories when they are back in stock. For the time being, I’m rocking my gold watch and ring.

goldmund unleashed

To learn more about style related to game read this article Goldmund wrote.

2) Embrace Your True Self

From how he dresses to creating art, Goldmund fully embraces his true self. Each moment I can tell that he is in the moment.

This is something that from 20-22 held me back. I always felt like I had to become my true self. Little did I know that I was already my true self.

It wasn’t until early January that I fully accepted that I was already my true self.

Funny enough things started lining up and momentum started doubling when I embraced my true self.

What you want only comes from embracing who you are.

You have to embrace who you are and live it. From how you make your money to getting girls, embrace it.

Something that has helped me is being mindful. Instead of plotting my next move I am completely in the moment.

I notice the conversation two seats behind me. The music playing in the background and the clicks my keys make as I type out this article.

Take your focus off of yourself and put it outside. Focus on the conversation with the girl instead of the circus inside of your head.

To learn more about being mindful related to getting girls check out this article from Goldmund. Another place to check is a book that a friend of mine recently recommended to me called Sit Like a Buddha.

3) Intention is Everything

Most guys when they go out to pick up a girl have one thing on their mind. Their mind is focused on taking a girl home.

What this does to most guys is makes them come across as fake (see lesson 2) and this translates to no good time later.

Well of course you can buy them tons of drinks but you won’t get any sex later. Instead what I noticed Goldmund do is focus on having a good time.

Yeah, of course, he wants to get laid but his main focus is on having fun. He’s got the mentality of if something happens great if not that’s great as well.

This is what you would call the abundance mentality. You know there’s plenty of girls out there and so you go out there and have fun.

By going out and having fun this will translate to good things. From great times to taking girls home you get it all.

The next time you go out remember that your intention is everything. I could write an entire post on the power of intention.

4) There Are No Rules

In this world there really aren’t any rules. Yes, there are laws but outside of that you can do whatever you want.

We are brought up being told that girls like the nice guy. The kind of guy that goes out of his way to please a girl.

Blah,blah, yuck.

By this point, you know this is a lie. Girls don’t like nice guys and only use them. But this applies to everything in life.

You can be the nice guy that comes to work on time, has average sex, and then gets screwed over 40 years later.

Or you can accept that there aren’t any rules. You can instead follow your own and embrace who you are.

Most of the things you fear are just social constructs. Things such as talking to a girl or asking someone for the sale.

They are nothing but ideas in our minds that create a frame that we live by. Forget about the rules and make your own.

5) Authenticity + Honesty is the Formula to Success

As you know by now Goldmund is an authentic and honest person. I’m big on being authentic and he further confirmed that idea in my mind.

Being honest and putting it all out there may take time but ultimately we are playing the long-game. Being honest turns people into super fans and creates haters.

The truth is what brings people in because they relate to you. You can’t hide the truth and when you give of it freely, people respect you.

One of my highest viewed articles was about what I had been going through. People saw someone who embodied what they wrote about.

People such as Goldmund, Ed Latimore, and I will be here 2 years from now. Other people who sell you this false dream disappear after 6 months.

Being authentic and honest applies to every area of your life. From brotherhood to getting girls. The more honest you are the easier your life will be.

You’ll get support and even better you will be able to live on your terms.

If you want a formula for success. One that lays it all out there for you. It would be to be authentic and honest in everything.

Even if you will take a hit, be honest.

I could take this article on another two-thousand words but you’ve learned enough. The 5 lessons I learned from Goldmund Unleashed will change your life.

That is no cliche exaggeration. If you take these 5 lessons and focus on them this week, your life will change.

Remember everything works but it comes down to YOU.

What I’m focused on this week is intention. I’ve got a lot of big things coming and I must have my intentions in order.

I’ll be releasing another article soon on things I left out. Maybe even Goldmund will do a response article where he tells his side of the story.

The two of us hit it off and if you ever get a chance to link up with him do it. You’d be surprised how easily your life can be changed simply by meeting someone.

Where to Find Goldmund Unleashed:


If you haven’t done so already get on the early access list for my upcoming book. You will get Think and Go Hustle 3 days before everyone else. I’m also giving out a discount for those on the list.

To get on the early access list click here and then fill in your information.

Thank you for being a part of what Calm and Collected is doing and for your emails. I’m grateful for you taking the time to read this article.

Tune in next time for some more…

REAL DEALIN’ With The Real Dylan

PS: My new book Think and Go Hustle is available in PDF and Kindle. See what other people are saying…

Read the intro and first level. I almost cried.. the level of authenticity and the lessons you share in an easy to understand way are incredibly relatable. Can’t wait to get through the rest of the book this week. Continue to walk on water my friend. Really have something with this book. I mean it.

-K.P.

For PDF click here.

For Kindle click here.

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